I really do not like clogging up my page with journals but this is important.
No one has taken any interest in the Bellatrix reboot (apart from muriyh
who I know in real life) and also I tried to write chapters of Annoying Bellatrix but whatever I wrote just felt very forced. Recently I was able to write something about my actual original characters and this was a huge success, I wrote and I enjoyed myself, I felt alive, I also found that I was actually happy with what I'd written. What can I say? I just had a good idea for a scene so I wrote it.
Thing is, I don't think I want to work on Annoying Bellatrix. No one is interested, not even my friends, I only used to write Harry Potter crap because my friends were into it anyway, truth is I lost interest in HP years ago when I moved on to original writing. If I get any serious interest I'll reconsider but otherwise I'm not going to be doing Annoying Bellatrix anymore. This means I don't know when or even if I'll write anything suitable for DA again. There is Frozen fanfiction but to be honest that requires a whole other journal explaining why I won't be doing it.
In general DA is dead and all my friends have moved on. I've been using my personal blog a lot reccently. No one comments or even reads as far as I'm aware but no one is meant to, it's private for a reason. I get my thoughts down, submit the post and there it's on the internet and it's possible that it can be seen (i.e. I can pretend I have readers who actually give a fuck). I think I will in general move to posting everything about my life onto this personal blog. Nobody is interested in my art or writing so there's no point me sticking around DeviantART. Maybe I'll create a private Instagram account for my art in the future if I get interest, but for now... I don't know, I really hate to say goodbye to DA but... Nobody gives a shit anymore.
I got into an argument today online and that's really dampened my spirits a lot. It was just some tosspot troll who was deliberately misunderstanding my point but... It still hurts. All I will say on this matter is that I fully support #KeepElsaSingle
all the way.
Anyway, I think I will move anything life-related to my blog and as for writing and art, we'll just have to wait and see. Maybe goodbye? I will still check my messages. Leave comments for god's sake! I've been begging people to leave comments for three years while my friends generally ignore me. COMMENTS.
EDIT - Just an edit to say to you all... I only put about 9% of my life online. I am more than who I am online, I am more than my internet identity. You people think you know me but you only get a snapshot view and then make assumptions. None of you know the person I am or how unwell I've been or what I've been through. So stop pretending that you know me. Stop judging me. I feel I'm having a bit of an identity crisis, an online one.
I did write a longer post instead of this edit, but DA didn't save it.